things to look forward to:
1. visiting jackie and stu this weekend.
2. celebrating maria's birthday with family.
3. attending 2nd sunday.
4. not having to move over thanksgiving break.
5. breakfast club(s).
6. last day of classes for the semester on dec 16.
7. when the days start getting longer on dec 22.
8. winter break from internship starting dec 23.
9. christmas with fam (including luci!).
10. my birthday, feb 1.
11. may 7 - day after thesis workshop.
12. june 2011, finishing master's degree and last car payment.
more to come. gotta focus on the good.
11.08.2010
5.26.2009
4.02.2009
mr. brightside
i started reminiscing a little about our summer 05 trip to the UK, and browsed thru my photos on facebook. i only posted 30-something of them and got to wondering about where the rest of them went. i had a yahoo photos account at that time and i know i uploaded some pics there while we were abroad. i now discovered that i can't access my yahoo anything anymore :( i'm pretty sure i remember my address, but no clue about the password. i'm also pretty sure i let the email service go...i think i remember getting warned that it would get deleted if i didn't check it in however long. its not really that i'm worried about but i don't think i realized that that meant that my photos account wouldn't exist either. i didn't even know that yahoo photos is now flickr!
i'm sad about my pics from the only time i ever went abroad :(
i'm sad about my pics from the only time i ever went abroad :(
8.18.2008
but still feel like i'm gonna sink
i've been waiting and wishing since i was about 15 to be in my mid-30s. (assuming that when i'm in my mid-30s my life will be established and in order and filled with a loving husband, stable career, and happiness and stability all around.)
i would give up the in between bullshit in a second no matter how many people say that those years are the best of your life. i'm tired of figuring stuff out. i just want to be there already.
i'm still waiting and wishing.
i would give up the in between bullshit in a second no matter how many people say that those years are the best of your life. i'm tired of figuring stuff out. i just want to be there already.
i'm still waiting and wishing.
8.12.2008
constantly bailing out water
please take me by the hand
stand by me in my hour of need
take time to understand
take my hand dear friend
and lead me from this place
chase away my doubts and fears
wipe the tears from off my face
friend i cannot stand alone
i need your hand to hold
the warmth of your gentle touch
in my world that's grown so cold
please be a friend to me
and hold me day by day
because with your loving hand in mine
i know we'll find the way
8.03.2008
one thing to do before you die
there are things in life that everyone says you should do or see before you die.
now that i have done it for longer than just a summer, i think that one of those things is to work in the service industry. working any sort of face-to-face customer service job has its ups and downs, just as any job does, but it is a lot harder than people think. whether it's being a waitor, or barista, or in fast food, or store clerk, or hair dresser, etc etc etc, it's hard. it's hard to deal with people every day and have to put on a happy, friendly face no matter what. it doesn't matter if your dog just died, or your boyfriend just broke up with you, if you have a headache, or just happen to be having a blah day. you have to put it behind you because in many of these cases, your livelihood depends on it. as a barista, i make minimum wage. without tips, i would not be able to pay my bills. without a smile on my face, i do not make tips.
yes, generally, the actual work is easy. we don't have to try to find the cure for cancer or know how to land an airplane or fight fires or do manual labor. but oftentimes, i think people don't give service industry workers enough credit. i don't even think i give myself enough credit for doing this sort of work. in a recent conversation about places to meet decent guys someone asked me if i ever met any at work. and i replied, "not often, but i serve a lot of professionals and i feel like they just think i'm stupid cuz i work in a coffeeshop. i think they just assume i don't have an education or much to offer." now, i don't usually feel that these customers talk down to me or anything, i just assume that they don't see me to be at their level. they don't know that my tip jar is basically my "send me to grad school fund."
anyway, i guess the point is, that the people who serve you deserve your respect. they have bad days and stressful lives too, and they have to deal with complaints and requests all day, and with a smile at that. the only people who really seem to understand this, are the people who've done it. at the park ave fest today shannon and i got henna tattoos. we met the tattoo artist earlier in the coffeeshop and chatted with her about her work. she was probably one of the friendliest people i've ever met. after she was done doing our tattoos, she said something to the effect of, "thanks a lot, and you guys are awesome, cuz you work in a coffeeshop." at first i found that quite surprising, because as i said above, i often feel like people don't see us to be smart, or motivated, or "awesome." (and of course there are those of us who aren't, but that's another story). but she explained that she knew how hard it was to work in customer service (obviously) and that she really appreciates what servers do. i thought that was really cool for her to say, and obviously got me thinking.
so that's that. my advice is, before you die, take a job in the service industry. and if you really want to be hardcore about it, try a minimum wage one. :)
now that i have done it for longer than just a summer, i think that one of those things is to work in the service industry. working any sort of face-to-face customer service job has its ups and downs, just as any job does, but it is a lot harder than people think. whether it's being a waitor, or barista, or in fast food, or store clerk, or hair dresser, etc etc etc, it's hard. it's hard to deal with people every day and have to put on a happy, friendly face no matter what. it doesn't matter if your dog just died, or your boyfriend just broke up with you, if you have a headache, or just happen to be having a blah day. you have to put it behind you because in many of these cases, your livelihood depends on it. as a barista, i make minimum wage. without tips, i would not be able to pay my bills. without a smile on my face, i do not make tips.
yes, generally, the actual work is easy. we don't have to try to find the cure for cancer or know how to land an airplane or fight fires or do manual labor. but oftentimes, i think people don't give service industry workers enough credit. i don't even think i give myself enough credit for doing this sort of work. in a recent conversation about places to meet decent guys someone asked me if i ever met any at work. and i replied, "not often, but i serve a lot of professionals and i feel like they just think i'm stupid cuz i work in a coffeeshop. i think they just assume i don't have an education or much to offer." now, i don't usually feel that these customers talk down to me or anything, i just assume that they don't see me to be at their level. they don't know that my tip jar is basically my "send me to grad school fund."
anyway, i guess the point is, that the people who serve you deserve your respect. they have bad days and stressful lives too, and they have to deal with complaints and requests all day, and with a smile at that. the only people who really seem to understand this, are the people who've done it. at the park ave fest today shannon and i got henna tattoos. we met the tattoo artist earlier in the coffeeshop and chatted with her about her work. she was probably one of the friendliest people i've ever met. after she was done doing our tattoos, she said something to the effect of, "thanks a lot, and you guys are awesome, cuz you work in a coffeeshop." at first i found that quite surprising, because as i said above, i often feel like people don't see us to be smart, or motivated, or "awesome." (and of course there are those of us who aren't, but that's another story). but she explained that she knew how hard it was to work in customer service (obviously) and that she really appreciates what servers do. i thought that was really cool for her to say, and obviously got me thinking.
so that's that. my advice is, before you die, take a job in the service industry. and if you really want to be hardcore about it, try a minimum wage one. :)
4.29.2008
still fighting it
so the current debate is...
do i stay where i am and relax for a while? or do i start on a new venture (namely grad school) and continue in the seemingly ever-changing lifestyle?
i'm not sure what the answer is. about three days ago i def thought the answer was to just chill for awhile and embrace what i'm doing. about two days ago i started to question that. i was driving home from work and saw a guy walking down the street. i honestly don't really remember what he looked like now, but i for whatever reason, i thought he was a grad student. and although i'm sure i see people like him walking down that street every day, that day the thought, "i want to go to grad school" popped into my head. it wasn't anything i was thinking about, just kind of came to me. i also recently had a dream that i was attending an orientation of sorts at the university of rochester. signs? i do not know.
before that "revelation" (?), i figured i would just hang tight. since graduating from wooster, there have been a lot of changes in a relatively short period of time...as there are for all people my age. new apartments, new jobs, quitting jobs, other new jobs, other new apartments, friendships gained, friendships lost, etc etc etc. currently i'm happy in my living situation and content with my working situation, which has not always been the case. barista work is generally stress free, i have nice hours, i like my co-workers and so on. i thought i'd just kind of ride it out while i could. but now i'm not so sure.
am i looking for more of a challenge? do i think i'll meet more people i'm compatible with in a university setting? am i ready to get on with my life? am i scared to give up something i'm content with and take a chance? will there ever be answers?
those are the questions.
do i stay where i am and relax for a while? or do i start on a new venture (namely grad school) and continue in the seemingly ever-changing lifestyle?
i'm not sure what the answer is. about three days ago i def thought the answer was to just chill for awhile and embrace what i'm doing. about two days ago i started to question that. i was driving home from work and saw a guy walking down the street. i honestly don't really remember what he looked like now, but i for whatever reason, i thought he was a grad student. and although i'm sure i see people like him walking down that street every day, that day the thought, "i want to go to grad school" popped into my head. it wasn't anything i was thinking about, just kind of came to me. i also recently had a dream that i was attending an orientation of sorts at the university of rochester. signs? i do not know.
before that "revelation" (?), i figured i would just hang tight. since graduating from wooster, there have been a lot of changes in a relatively short period of time...as there are for all people my age. new apartments, new jobs, quitting jobs, other new jobs, other new apartments, friendships gained, friendships lost, etc etc etc. currently i'm happy in my living situation and content with my working situation, which has not always been the case. barista work is generally stress free, i have nice hours, i like my co-workers and so on. i thought i'd just kind of ride it out while i could. but now i'm not so sure.
am i looking for more of a challenge? do i think i'll meet more people i'm compatible with in a university setting? am i ready to get on with my life? am i scared to give up something i'm content with and take a chance? will there ever be answers?
those are the questions.
like the pieces of my heart
as far as i've experienced, nothing is worse than loneliness.
although, jealousy does come in a close second.
although, jealousy does come in a close second.
10.31.2007
chocolate chip pancakes
tomorrow is november. time is moving quickly. i need to be out of this apartment by the end of the month. i need to have a job before i can apply for the new apartment. not a whole lot has changed besides the amount of pressure on me. i'll probably just "settle" for a seasonal job if nothing comes along in the nearest future, but i'm a little bit nervous that that type of job will have to start before i'd like it to. ideally, i'd like to work at msc for the rest of the month. but a mall type job will likely need me before thanksgiving. i am bummed that this phase in my life has to end soon. i made some positive changes (mentally/emotionally) but can't afford to live this way (happily) for long (financially). soon, i will move away, have a crap job, and leave my friends. can someone help put a more positive spin on this?
10.14.2007
new day, same shit
woeiruwaoafkjsldkgjwoeifjalsdkcnsldfkasjdfkl.
ugh.
i'm indecisive, afraid of committing to anything because i might end up hating it, and lost.
"real life" sucks.
ugh.
i'm indecisive, afraid of committing to anything because i might end up hating it, and lost.
"real life" sucks.
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